How to Cook Children: A Grisly Recipe Book
Happy Halloween! Keep reading…
I’ve got something deliciously wicked in mind for Halloween. How to Cook Children: A Grisly Recipe Book, written by Martin Howard and illustrated Colin Stimpson, is guaranteed to make you pee in your pants laughing (otherwise known as “lizzing” by 30 Rock fans).
Children are the main ingredient in this collection of recipes from witches around the world. As you may know, there is no shortage of children on Halloween. Why, they even come to your door; it’s like having your groceries delivered. Selecting only the tenderest and plumpest little ones, you can try out such culinary dishes as “Kate and Sidney Pie”, “Irish Stu with Little Dumplings”, “Flat Jacks”, and many other yummy dishes. These recipes will intrigue even the pickiest eaters.
Hilariously written and full of wit, this cookbook has a little something for everyone. Tiny tots will be tickled pink and the young-at-heart will laugh out loud at such recipes as “How to Make a Samosa”: “The Samosa is made by taking a ripe Sam and having a large maddened elephant jump up and down on him.” There is a lot of text with big words, but each recipe can easily be broken down to a mini story, making for a perfect bedtime story for nights leading up to Halloween. Imagine all the fun you can have acting out the cast of witchy characters: Morag McNasty is begging for a Scottish brogue, or with a curl of your lips and a shake those hips, you could become Elvivissa Pursley.
Howard’s absurd characters are brought to life wonderfully by the work of Colin Stimpson. Ditching the classic look of a black hat and a black dress, these witches come in all shapes and sizes, each with a different flair. My favorite is Consuela del Diablo, the witch from Spain, who is dressed in a vibrant red and white polka-dotted dress and pointy hat; spicy and hot, she rattles castanets made from human dentures while dancing the flamenco. Stimpson’s attention to detail is what makes the illustrations so amusing; for example, HAG, which stands for Hansel and Gretel Industries, is the maker of all the kitchen appliances. Get ready to bust a gut laughing as you discover delectable ways to serve up boys and girls.
How to Cook Children: A Grisly Recipe Book, a children’s book review by Thao Lam
Author Martin Howard
There is very little information on author Martin Howard. If anyone out there has any info, please share.
Illustrator Colin Stimpson
Born in England in 1964, Colin Stimpson showed talent right from the start. He received a First Class Honors Degree in illustration at the Kingston School of Art. Upon graduating, he worked at Steven Spielberg’s Amblimation as a Background Artist and Art Director. He then moved on to become Art Director and Production Designer for Walt Disney Feature Animation.
Publisher Pavilion (September 1, 2009)